The story you tell yourself (and others) initiates your emotional response, embeds your attitude state, and sets in motion ONLY linked experiences (that confirm it or move it on a step).
Your story is how you describe your current circumstances, you tell it in general dialogue with friends and family, and, while we are working more often alone at our home work place, is what rumbles below the surface in our own head.
The power of story is known, in its ability to conjure pictures, evidence and the emotions that go with it. The more often you tell the story, more elaborately and more vividly the more power you add to its impact on the listener.
The #1 listener to your story is… YOU!
You will either ‘fall down’ or ‘step up’ when you hear, emotionally respond and experience your own story.
Here’s an example:
“I live alone, lockdown has been lonely, boring, and left me listless. More than half of my business revenue has gone, I fear the financial pain that lies ahead. I see almost no one, I am uninspired, the silence is deafening. Most days I don’t know what to do and have lost the motivation to start anything or go anywhere, not that I can under Covid restrictions. I feel lost, disconnected, and empty. What am I doing? I hate my inefficiency. It’s scary.”
What feelings does this conjure in you? Can you relate to the misery? You cannot dispute the situation, and your empathic response may only be sorrow.
How about this story:
“The incredible quiet space that has opened up since lockdown has been liberating. My thoughts have run and run without the old time-boundaries. I have relished nurturing my home and home working places, peacefully accepting the opportunity to contemplate, meditate and relax. As my diary cleared after lots of business projects closed, I was able to deliver more value and effort in the business I had, and connected more widely, agenda-less, with more people. I became open to exploring new sources of inspiration, new ways I could show up in the world. Every day is brand new, clear and open to new things. I’m a happy hermit!”
What feelings does this story conjure? Are you intrigued by the journey and the discoveries? You may notice the choices, and empathically respond with respectful applause!
For the teller of the stories, the former is heavy and triggers resistance, sadness, defeat, doubt, and fear. The latter is light and triggers acceptance, hope, readiness, excitement, and curiosity.
And with these two sets of responses come the linked volume of related body chemicals (e.g., dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin, endorphins, and serotonin) that ignite associated feelings, moods, and attitudes. Your story informs your reticular activating cortex to find proofs of whatever your story is saying. Thus, perpetuating one story or the other.
Both are my stories!
I get to choose. Both are close enough to the truth that they can be told. On tougher days it seems easier to tell the first and telling the second seems false. Telling it anyway is crucial.
What is your story? The recurring one or versions that you tell? How do they make you feel?
Re-write your story now.
Write it down today, however you ‘feel’ like you want to tell it and go back and upgrade it. Change the point of focus, the choices, the verbiage, the adjectives… until it almost feels untrue (which means you’re nearly there!). Then sit with your rewrite, breathe and ‘feel it’ - feels better eh?
Repeat this process in a month and power it up some more, as your acceptance to your new story is achieved.
I can help you. For the first 10 subscribers to send me their story (by replying to this Simple Note) I will boost it, re-write it (but change no truths) and send it back.
Good luck, tell great inspiring stories, and, particularly now,… keep it simple.
Simon
PS – Does your home office inspire or irritate you? Need ideas to provoke upgrading it? Download the Top 9 Elements of an Inspiring Home Office here.