Do you change your attitude and maybe even your behaviour when things just aren’t going to plan? How about when decisions are made that directly affect you and limit you immediate choices, or even a set of circumstances that were unexpected and annoying in some way.
In these moments a whole set of responses fire off that alter the way we act for the next few minutes hours, or if its really bad, days. And, unsurprisingly once we get into that unwanted state we seem to attract more of it too!
Clearly this is not getting you to your best, most productive and most powerful state and saps the enjoyment all the while your there. It’s just not a good place to be.
It sounds easy when some coach, like me, pipes up and says “you have a choice here”. But, quite simply you do, and here’s a thinking process to help.
For a long time I have worked with my clients on ‘acceptance’ which is the opposite of ‘resistance’. The latter causes friction and ‘dis-ease’, the former is a free flowing state where you maintain access to your full thinking and action capability.
A friend of mine, the R’evolutionary coach Seán Weafer coined a great acronym to help here. CIA. Implementing CIA is a question process to take you out of moaning, resisting, and gritting teeth through to a more powerful accepting place.
C |
Control – can I control this situation? If I can in anyway then let’s get into action and do it, if not move on… |
I |
Influence – can I influence anything around this situation? Can I speak to anyone, send information, and change its impact in some way? If I can in anyway then let’s get into action and do it, if not move on… |
A |
Accept It, for now – this doesn’t mean give in, it is an in the moment invitation to become easy with whatever it is. From here I can chose to get on with something else, relax into the aftermath, see it for what it is and so on. |
I implement my CIA when needed and can report a significant reduction in the amount of time I feel physically tensed, which people tell me is a more healthful way to be.
Good luck with calling in your CIA this week, and for more support around the way you think these things through have another read of previous articles Words and Word-up.